Planning Your Wedding Toasts:

Who to Ask and What to Know About Toasting

Planning an LDS wedding toast or speech
Photo Courtesy of Ravenberg Photography

A time-honored tradition at almost every wedding reception is the joining of the guests for giving toasts and speeches. A successful round of toasting doesn’t come together spontaneously. Read on to find who traditionally gives wedding toasts, what order they’re done in, and all the practical details to make sure your toasts go seamlessly.

Who to Ask to Give a Wedding Toast

As the bride and groom, you can ask whoever you want to toast! Couples usually ask those that are most important to them, including their parents, best man, maid of honor, and each other. If you want to have a step-parent, grandparent, marriage officiator, or other special person give a toast, that’s okay too.

Planning an LDS wedding toast
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Obviously you can’t have every one of your siblings or loved ones speak at your reception, in the interest of time. But you can still honor them by asking them to give a speech or toast at the engagement party, bridal shower, bachelor/bachelorette party, or groom’s dinner. The reception isn’t their only opportunity.

Whoever you ask, clearly communicate your request. At the most, a speech should last 5 minutes. Specify the length of the speech and whether you want them to conclude it with a toast (raising a glass and drinking) at the end or not.

A successful round of toasting doesn’t come together spontaneously.

Order of LDS Wedding Speeches and Toasts

Traditionally, toasting starts with the father of the bride (who traditionally pays for the reception), followed by the father of the groom, and trades between families.
A sample order might be:

Planning an LDS wedding toast or speech
Photo Courtesy of Amelia Lyon Photography

1. Parent(s) of the bride toast the couple, guests, and grandparents
2. Parent(s) of the groom toast the couple, guests, and grandparents
3. Maid of honor toasts the bride (and groom)
4. Best man toasts the groom (and bride)
5. Groom toasts the best man, the bride, their parents, and thanks guests
6. Bride toasts the maid of honor, the groom, their parents, and thanks guests

The most important thing is not the actual order of the toasts, but the fact that you know the order ahead of time and have relayed that information to all participants. There should be no awkward pauses between toasts.

LDS Ring Ceremony Speeches

If your wedding reception will also include a ring ceremony, plan accordingly. Most ring ceremonies conclude with a short speech from the bride and groom. You don’t want to be redundant in your speech. Either plan something different to say, or consider holding your speech for the ring ceremony and letting others do the toasting.

Practical Details about Reception Speeches and Toasts

The best time to toast is when the guests are all seated and have no plate in front of them to fight for their attention. Before dinner is served or immediately after it’s taken away is the best time.

Also, make sure there is a cordless microphone that can be passed for toasting and speeches, and that everyone speaking has easy access to it. This equipment can be provided by your DJ or band, or if your reception is held in the cultural hall then you can make arrangements to borrow one from the building.

You’ve got plenty on your mind right now, but spare a thought or two for the planning of your wedding speeches and toasts. For the best results, be direct about what you want and give your speakers plenty of notice – some like to write theirs a few days in advance, but some like over a month to prepare!

♥ Jenny Evans
Exclusively for
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